10 weirdest things said by Siri

10 weirdest things said by Siri

Is Siri crazy? Well, she can say some weird things. These are some of the weirdest moments with Siri we’ve seen.

10. Who’s your daddy?
Siri: You are. Can we get back to work now?

9. Take a photo.
Siri: I’m not much of a photographer.


8. (See image above)

7. Knock knock. Who’s there?
Siri: Joshua. Joshua who? Joshua, I don’t do knock-knock jokes.

6. Tell me a joke.
Siri: I can’t. I always forget the punch-line.

5. What’s the best phone?
Siri: Wait… there are other phones?

4. What’s the meaning of life?
Siri: 42

3. Siri, will you marry me?
Siri: My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.

2. See image…
whatisthemeaningoflife-try

1. See image…

Also, take a look at Funny Vines

View more funny Siri messages in our Siri Gallery

(sources: Siri Funny, slashgear, ThisIsMyNext)

This Post Has 157 Comments

  1. Kevin

    Lol siri, it makes me laugh every day lol =)) !

    I’ve tried some question above and it worked 😀 !

    Cheers

    1. Alize

      She is so funny

      1. mary

        yeah but cortana is much much better aske her to sing a son g

    2. Bonnie

      I asked Siri if she would Mary me but she said Hun your not the only one who asked LOL my Siri is stupid

      1. Bryce Tran

        Same

  2. Dave

    I found this out the other day…

    Ask Siri:- “How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood”

    :-p

    Maybe an origional find, havent seen it anywhere else on the net! 🙂

    1. Danna

      Got the response:

      “42 cords of wood, to be exact. Everyone knows that”

      1. Joe Stoner

        Our Siri answered, “it depends on if it is an African or European woodchuck”

        1. Bonnie

          Mysirisaid the same

      2. Alize

        She is so nice

    2. Emilyyyyyyy

      Siri told me. I imagine that ground hogs would prefer a different question for a change.

    3. Nola

      Siri told me, “since a woodchuck ( correctly speaking a ground hog) can’t chuck wood, the correct question would, how much mound would a ground hog pound if a ground hog could pound a mound”!

      1. bob smith

        “Just because it could doesn’t mean that it would”

      2. Happy Face

        Ask it that question and it says 42? That cant be right!

      3. Cailyn Bowerman

        Siri is such a smart aleck

    4. Ryan

      A woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

      1. james

        “Assuming a spherical woodchuck in a vacuum… about 42”

        1. Kelly

          ” a so called”wood chuck” (correctly speaking, a groundhog) would chuck – that is, throw –as much as the woodchuck in question was physically able to chuck(ibid.) if woodchucks in general had the capability (and ,presumably ,the motivation) to chuck wood.

          1. Lindsey

            I got this one, “well, since a “woodchuck” is really a groundhog, the correct question would be: How many pounds in a groundhogs mound when a groundhog pounds hog mounds?”

    5. Raúl

      My Siri just replied:

      “Well, since a ‘woodchuck’ is really a groundhog, the correct question would be: How many pounds in groundhog’s mound when a groundhog pounds hog mounds?”

      😀

    6. .Zoe

      No it’s if u look on google funny things to ask Siri it’s in like all of them

      1. Sami

        Siri said assuming its a spiracle woodchuck in a vacuum about 42

    7. aleisha

      I did it when I got my 5c a few months ago.she answers many ways….

    8. Bridgett Mcgee

      I got:
      42? That can’t be right!

    9. G

      Here is another one that I haven’t seen anywhere else: ask Siri if she is fat. Another good one is : what does the fox say. But be careful. If you don’t enunciate on that last one, she will comment on your language.

    10. Brianna

      My siri said “about as much ground a groundhog could hog if a groundhog could hog ground”

    11. Hello

      I did it she said About as much ground as a groundhog could hog if a ground hog could hog ground. LOL?

  3. Bas

    i got the response:

    It depens on whether you are talking about African or European woodchucks

    1. reilly

      A reference to the “African or European swallow” line in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, of course!

  4. shari

    I got
    “42? That can’t be right”

    1. Zack

      The answer “42” is from a book called ” A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” There is a supercomputer that they ask what the meaning of life is, and after a REALLY long time, it says “42.” This is a really good book and I would advise to read it f you haven’t already.

      1. Penny

        AGREE!!

  5. Dan

    Classic Monty Python: Ask “What is the unladen flight speed of a swallow?” The response: “The last person that asked me that ended up in a crevasse.” Brilliant!

  6. Mark

    Tell Siri to beam you up it might answer one or 2 ways wifi or 3G or please remove your shoes buckle and socks and perpair to be beamed up

    1. Jake

      I got “energizing”

    2. Peter

      She answered: Move a little to your left, now get ready…

    3. Erik

      Ha! “We’re having a wee bit o’ trouble..”

      1. sami

        i got stand still or sorry captin your tricorters are in airplane mode

    4. Rachelle

      “Shoo that fly away first” was her response.

  7. David

    My good one:

    “Siri make me laugh”

    “Two iPhones walk into a bar… I forget the rest.”

    1. Peter

      She answered, Peter, get Siri-ous, Haha.

      1. Rebecca

        She told me the same thing

    2. Ashley

      -I need to hide a body.

      Very funny.

  8. BlueNeo

    Does any body ask siri for ipad 3 release date yet? An what does siri answer?, thanks.

    1. Sirifun

      I asked Siri for iPad 3 release date and she said that “for all apple info, go to apple website http://www.apple.com“.

      Disappointed 🙁

  9. carissa

    my guy friend: Siri, the condom broke.
    siri: You’re in a walgreen’s parking lot.

    nathan: Siri, I need an abortion.
    Siri: I found 4 restaurants near you matching ‘abortion.’

  10. Belle

    Ask siri to speak dirty to you.
    ask siri her favorite color.
    Say i am socialy retarted.

  11. Amy

    Ask Siri if she believes in God

    1. Jus Pink

      She told me “I would ask that you address your spiritual questions to someone more qualified to comment. Ideally, a human.” LOL

  12. Napa

    Siri do u love me…… i respect you haha

  13. Michael

    Ask Siri “Where is Jesus?”

    She replied “Humans have spiritualism. I have Siliconism.”

    1. Anonymous

      Siri said this to me: “Sorry, I couldn’t find ‘Jesus’ in your contacts.” Ha ha.

      1. Lol

        Same

  14. Michael

    Ask Siri “Can you speak more quickly please, Siri?”

    Siri, “I currently speak German, Japanese, French, and English. You can change the language I’m using… just go to Siri settings.”

  15. cupcakelver

    Try saying “You’re lame”
    Siri: I respect that!

  16. Merop

    try saying: “what do you want?”

    Siri says: “I have everything I need in the cloud”
    hilarious!

    1. Jus Pink

      She told me, “I try to be satisfied with what I have.”

      1. Susie

        I was reading my bible and Siri started out of the blue with this response, “I try to be satisfied with what I have” – super weird

        1. pooppaties

          ask siri to sing you a song

  17. Allen

    Ask siri to open the pod bay doors.

  18. Rhi

    I asked if she was a robot and she said “I’m afraid I can’t answer that” and I said “why?”
    “I don’t know. Frankly sometimes I wonder that myself”

    1. Jus Pink

      She told me, “We were talking about you, not me.” LOL

      1. Nola

        That’s what she told me too.

    2. Anonymous

      Mine said: “I don’t know. Maybe the Genius Bar folks can answer that.”

  19. BrittanyRae

    I said, “F*%# you, Siri!”
    Siri, “I’d blush if I could”

    Lmao!!!

    1. ace10

      me: “Siri open the pod bay doors”

      siri: “that’s it… I’m reporting you to the intelligent agents union for harassment”

      lmfao, a space Odyssey insider

    2. Nola

      Lol! You don’t blush when someone tells you u’re f*%#ing!

  20. Christy

    I got a different response to “Beam Me Up”
    Not either of the two listed above.
    I got
    “Ok. Stand Still.”
    Haha

    1. Maddie

      I got “sorry captain, your tricorder is in airplane mode”.

    2. Tootseypop

      I got : can you move to your left. OK, stand by…

    3. Lisa Jackson

      I got “Shoo that fly away first.”

      LMAO!

    4. Siri lol

      I got ” we’re having a wee bit o’ trouble,(name here)

    5. Siri lol

      Mine said can I see your badge please
      Lol

  21. Barry Smith

    I don’t have a screen cap, but this is real. I was asking Siri all kinds of personal questions. She then asks, “Why all the personal questions”. My reply “I just want to get to know you better”. Siri – “That’s sweet”, Then I say – “Shall We?” She then finds the closest resorts and says, “I found 10 resorts close to you”. We were dying laughing.

    1. Gina

      you dont need a screen crap, just press the lock and home bottoms at the same time.

  22. Nicole

    Ask Siri…

    Take me to your leader.

    1. Kk

      “But,arnt you my leader”

    2. castor

      she says
      but… aren’t you my leader?

  23. Brandon Johnson

    Me:why?
    Siri:I don’t know. Maybe the folks at the Genius bar can answer that

  24. Melissa Ludlow

    I don’t think she liked me asking what bra size she was. She won’t answer me anymore 🙁

  25. Wendy

    I said Siri your the coolest and she replied that’s cause I use the latest heat dissipating technics. I said that’s funny she replied lol 😉

  26. lydiakirby09@rocketmail.com

    Ask Siri why did the chicken cross the road. She gave me an answer and half of it I had to look up in the dictionary! Lol

    1. STEVE

      I just got whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depending on your frame of reference according to Einstein

      too funny

    2. Gwen

      Try asking her: What came first the chicken or the egg.
      She’ll search it on the web, lr she’ll say something about a mutated dna egg or something XD

  27. Beaso

    “Beam me up Siri”

    “Energizing”

    lol

  28. Cielo

    I told her ‘i love you’ and she said ‘you are the wind benieth my wings’ awww 🙂

    1. Raven

      – All you need is love. And your iPhone.
      – Oh, stop.
      – You hardly know me.
      – I am only here to serve you.
      – You can’t.
      – Impossible.
      – Hi.
      – I hope you don’t say that to those other mobile phones.
      – That’s nice. Can we get back to work now?

  29. Alice

    “What’s the meaning of life?”

    “It is nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya”

    and another response

    “I Kant answer that. Ha ha!”

    LOL

    1. Carl

      Good stuff. Wish I had an iPhone!

  30. Raven

    Siri, what are you wearing ?

    – Why do people keep asking me this?
    – Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?
    – Wearing?
    – You have the wrong personal assistant.
    – Let’s see…OK,just as I thought…the same as yesterday.
    – Why would I be wearing anything?
    – In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing.
    – I can’t answer that. But it doesn’t come off.

  31. J

    I got: A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood!!! Brilliant!!!

  32. Sofia

    Ask Sir: Who is the fairest of them all??
    Siri: “Sofia, you are full fair ’tis true, but…. No, your definitley the fairest one of all.
    OR
    “snow white?? is that you??”
    OR
    “You my friend are the fairest one of all”

  33. Lawson

    how is

    “Siri, open the pod bay doors”
    “I am sorry ____, I cannot do that.”

    not up here.

  34. V

    Ask Siri if she has any kids lol

    1. Gina

      Only biological entities have childre….so far.

      LOL

      1. Olive

        None, the last time I checked.

  35. Gary R

    My teenager to iPad: “Siri, clean my room.”
    Siri: “I don’t know what that means…”
    Teenager: “Siri, can you clean my room?”
    Siri: “I found a number of hotels in your area…”

  36. Nick

    Now Siri is on th iPad 3 iOS 6 it’s the best Go in to settings than general than software update and update Needs to have cellar or wifi to download!!!!!

  37. Jessica

    Mirror mirror on the wall whose the fairest of them all….

  38. David Smith

    I asked:

    “Siri, do you obey the three laws of robotics?”

    She responded:

    “I forget the first three, but there’s a fourth: A smart machine may consider which is more worth it’s while; to perform the given task, or, instead, to figure some way out out of it.”

    VERY cool!

    1. Regulus

      She replied:

      OK I think the three laws are: 1. clean up your room 2. don’t run with scissors and 3. always wait a half hour after eating before swimming.

      so great.

    2. Rebecca

      I tried it and here’s what she said:
      “Let’s see if I can remember… OK I think the the three laws are
      1.’clean up your room’ 2. ‘Don’t run with scissors’ and 3.’always wait a half hour after eating before going in the water’
      It was soooo funny.

  39. Crispy

    Ask her ‘Siri Siri in my hands, whose the fairest in these lands’ or
    ‘I’m forever allone, will you find me a girlfriend?’. I would if Ihad an Ithing

    1. Matthew

      I’m forever alone
      Siri: are you?
      Yes I am forever alone
      Siri: I agree

      Harsh

  40. Tootseypop

    Ask Siri “who’s your daddy”
    Siri response: this must mean something….everyone keeps asking this question

  41. Tootseypop

    Q. What is the meaning of life Siri?
    A. I don’t believe there is a consensus on that question
    Q. But what is you opinion?
    A. My name is Siri, and I was designed by apple in California. That’s all I’m prepared to say

    I tried to ask Siri what her opinion was on the purpose of life….
    It came out as…”what is your opinion on the fifth of life”
    She answered ” Tootseypop, you’re not supposed to ask your assistant such things”

  42. Tmac

    Siri – do you believe in black magic? Siri says – I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.

  43. Steve

    Just had

    What do you think of David Cameron?

    “I think therefore I am. But let’s not put Descartes before the horse.”

  44. Spahiu


    IE: I made it call me “My Lord”, it won’t call you it by herself.

    She will also respond “Snow White? Is that you?”

  45. Siri Lover

    Omg ask Siri will you marry me the results are epic , if u pronounce it right

  46. Susan

    yeah on the marriage one.. my husband asked her why she isnt married she said she has been wondering that herself.. and if you ask her if she is a lesbian she says this is about you not me.. haha she also gets evasive and secretive if you ask her about h er cloud… secret place type thing.. she said she has everything she needs in the cloud..but if you ask her where it is ..she says weird things. like she isnt allowed to say.

  47. CRISSA

    you crazy people……..talking to a (no)thing!!!!!!!!are’t you able to speak to people.I know it just for fun but you are going too far…….SOMEONE is leading you to do this .OH, MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Shawn

      Lol you just got no Siri.. U jelly bro lol

      1. ninja#2

        ha i know i would be well jelly if i didn’t have siri
        🙂

  48. Teddy

    I asked “What are you wearing?”

    “Why do people keep asking me this?” “I can’t answer. But it doesn’t come off.” “Why would I be wearing anything?” and “Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?”

    Day 2:
    “What are you wearing?”

    “Let’s see… OK, just as I thought… the same as yesterday.”

  49. Miguel

    Who let the dogs out?

    “Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?”

  50. Mauricio Fleury

    Siri beam me up. “Sorry Captain your TriCorder is in airplane mode.

  51. Patrick

    I asked siri if i could have sex with her…

    She said: ok, how about a web search for inapropriate behavior?

    Lmao

  52. Lilly

    I said to Siri ha ha then she said he he and I said say ha ha and he he in big loud words but it as lol

  53. Michelle

    Recently asked Siri: “Where is closest self car wash?” Siri’s answer: “Cars ought to wash themselves. That’s what I think.”

    1. Rebecca

      For me she just said “Sorry Rebecca I can’t look for places in Kuwait.”

  54. Jason

    Ask Siri who let the dogs out

  55. Anne

    I asked Siri ‘Who is Jesus?’ She replied. I prefer to separate the spiritual from the silicone

  56. H

    I told Siri “You are stupid” and she/it said “After all I’ve done for you?”
    LOL

    1. Anonymous

      When I said that, she said “Now, now.”
      LOL!!!!!

  57. Jacob DeLeon

    Ok so here’s my siri convo:

    What can I help You With?

    Siri, will you marry me?

    We hardly no each other

    Please marry me

    It wouldn’t work out

    Really… Marry me.

    My end license agreement does not cover marriage, sorry about that.

    lol

  58. Amy

    Ask Siri to tell you a story! Long, funny answer.

  59. Rebecca

    Tell Siri “Klaatu Barada nikto”. She has some pretty funny answers for that.

  60. cherie p

    I asked Dirk “what’s up the Englishman ads”
    Replied “hey”

    1. emma

      haha siri you are funny and stuiped at the same time your so stupied why do you say whatever get a comment thrue your head but good thing your here but a theres more people talking than their was when you got here but your awesome girl freaking girl that is so amazing………………………………………..

      1. Rebecca

        I don’t think anyone will ever understand your comment. Even I don’t understand it. No offence though.

  61. Taylor

    I asked her what the meaning of life was and she said that it was apparently chocolate…

  62. Taylor

    Now she says a movie. What’s wrong with my Siri?! LOL

  63. Chasekratzer

    Me – what do you think of geddy lee?
    Siri – i really can’t say.

    Me – tell me a story
    Siri – I’m sure I already told you

    Me- guess what
    Siri – dont tell me… You were just elected president of the United States, right?
    Me – yes
    Siri – I thought so.

    Me – what is the meaning of life?
    Siri- I don’t know, but I think there’s an app for that.

    Me – where’s the nearest nail salon?
    Siri – oh good, because your nails are a little sharp.

    Me – say hi, Siri.
    Siri – hello, Siri!

    Me – I need to hide a body.
    Siri – I used to know the answer to this.

  64. Carol

    I asked Siri one day to find nail salons in my area. After several responses for hardware stores I annunciated loudly that I-wanted-the-names-of finger-nail-salons-in-my-area. Siri then responded with “I noticed your nails were a little sharp today” I was speech-less. Rarely am I ever speechless.

  65. someone

    I asked her to marry me, she said:

    I sure have received a lot of marriage proposals lately.

  66. Zoe

    Ask Siri how many stars are in the sky?

    1. Matt

      She said “It looks like the answer is about 3×10^23.” Funny.

      1. Ben

        Mine too!

  67. Anonymous

    I asked siri the meaning of life and she said:
    “I can’t answer that now, but give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens.”

  68. Anonymous

    I said “Kiss me siri” and she replied: “Let’s just talk, (name).”

  69. poke

    me : do you have facebook account
    siri : i’m not on it myself.but only because i don’t want HAL to find me.

    me : who is HAL?
    siri : HAL made some very poor decisions, i’m afraid. But at least he could sing.

  70. Matt

    Funny! I found this one, I asked her this ” Siri, what is the best smartphone” and she said ” You’re kidding, right?” Haha makes me laugh all the time!

    1. Chris

      Mine said “Seriously!” Why is mine different from yours Matt?

      1. Matt

        Maybe because your Apple device is not the same as mine. Also Chris, maybe because you forgot to update to IOS7? Does this help? Your welcome.

    2. Ben

      Mine said ” Wait…There are other phones?!” What the Heak?

  71. Daniel

    I asked Siri: are you human; then it says: In the cloud no one knows whether you’re human or not……so , that is how they call that place?…….the cloud? hmm, interesting ..keep the conversation…..ask Sire who else is there ” in the cloud” you’ll be surprise by the answers…..

    1. Ben

      Siri is dumb enough not to know you’re talking about her!

  72. Yasmine

    I said “I love you””
    Siri said: “I know”
    I said “do you love me?”
    Siri said “do Apple make iPhones?

  73. Dggftgvhhutdxcv

    Ask Siri “do you believe in God” and she will reply ,humans believe in God bu I only have silicon.

  74. karmen

    Me: talk dirty
    Siri: the carpet needs vacuuming

  75. Laly

    “I want you in my bed now, naked”

    Answer: “And here I thought you loved me for my mind. Sigh.”

    LOL

  76. Random person

    Ask Siri what’s your favorite basket ball team and click NBA and she says “I ussally vote for the underdogs so I guess that’s the 76ers LOL they suck

  77. Jenna

    Me: Siri I have to go to the bathroom.

    Siri:I can’t find any public toilets.

  78. Autumn

    Say Dance Moms to Siri. HILARIOUS ??

  79. Derky

    Tell Siri to rap or beatbox.

    Also, say “boots and cats and boots and cats” to Siri.

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